Leeds Festival 2011 Friday Review

Many of the videos will be from Leeds’ partner festival site, Reading. I’ve missed out my Thursday night as that will be covered in my eventual round-up.

Mark Thomas – Alternative Stage

Unusually my Friday started with a comedian rather a band. Having seen Mark Thomas live twice I knew he was excellent live and knew exactly what I’d be getting. And that’s what I got, a great show to kick off the day.

Fighting Fiction – Lock Up Stage

When the line up was announced I didn’t know any bands on the Friday morning, so I started doing some research and dug up Fighting Fiction. Sounding a bit like Frank Turner drew me in instantly and their songs kept me in. I strolled into the front row of the Lock Up and really enjoyed their set, which I knew about half of. Hopefully they’ll be higher up the bill next time if others enjoyed it like I did.

Highlight: We Will Not Forget

Spy Catcher – Lock Up Stage

Spy Catcher were a similar discovery to Fighting Fiction, and again I very much enjoyed them. Their song ‘Don’t Like People’ is smashing and their singer put everything into their live performance. A good rocky band to watch whislt the rain poured down outside the tent. However, the tent then sprung a leak in the roof which wasn’t so good.

Highlight: Don’t Like People

Frank Turner – Main Stage

With my Frank Turner tshirt and braving the rain outside I was all set to see one of my heroes. Reunited with my friends who’d been away watching other bands we got a good spot in the golden circle. And then Frank was brilliant. Definitely the highlight of the day, a set packed with hits, which I knew every word to. His new songs are every bit as good as his older tracks. Now I can’t wait to see him again in November.

Highlight: I Am Disappeared

 

The View – Main Stage

After Frank, we hung about to watch Scotland’s best young band The View. As expected it wasn’t nearly the same as seeing them in front of a Scottish crowd but the band were still great. Kyle performed with a big bandage round his leg having “severed it with a kitchen knife” but this didn’t stop them belting out thier hits and some from their excellent new album. Ending with a run of ‘Same Jeans’, ‘Superstar Tradesman’ and ‘Shock Horror’ they really know how to do a great festival set.

Highlight: Shock Horror

 

Chapel Club – NME Stage

Going to see Chapel Club for the fifth time in just over a year gave me the chance to get out of the rain, but the weather and tiredness had left me feeling a bit dead on my feet. I still enjoyed Chapel Club but not as much as before, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were too high up the bill for their own good. High on the second stage led to a tent with many people not knowing the band, but hopefully they’ll have gained some new fans from it.

Highlight: All The Eastern Girls

 

Interval

I decided to walk back to the tent and get a poncho. Whilst there I had a couple of beers and a wee rest. Feeling refreshed I headed back to the arena where I glimpsed Frank Turner up close during his signing. Then back to the music!

Panic! At The Disco – NME Stage

I didn’t think Panic! would fit into my plans as I feared they would clash with Interpol so I was delighted when I found I was able to see both bands. It was my first time seeing them and on their evidence I would watch them again, a great set. I had forgotten I knew all the words to their first album! Even though I don’t actually have their second or third…

Highlight: Camisado

 

Interpol – Main Stage

We crept back out into the rain, this time I was wearing my poncho though, and headed into the Main Stage golden circle, where we would remain for the rest of the evening. It was also my first time seeing Interpol, something I had been waiting for for years. I knew most of their set and loved it. I didn’t realise they were big enough for a third top set but their show justified it easily. A great band who I could easily watch again.

Highlight: Evil

 

Elbow – Main Stage

I first saw Elbow at T In The Park two years ago when I only knew one of their albums and they blew me away. So this time, knowing all their songs it was even better! A magnificent live act with a great frontman in Guy Garvey. He really knows how to involve the crowd in slow, soft songs and then bring about massive singalongs for their hits.

Highlight: Open Arms

 

Muse – Main Stage

Even before the band had started playing the crowd was getting going, Muse’s introduction was ideal for warming the crowd up. Flashing lighting combined with the eerie Tom Waits song ‘What’s He Building?’. Then Matt Bellamy started playing the piano for ‘New Born’ and the crowd went wild for the next two hours. Their Origin Of Symmetry set was followed by a greatest hits set, with each song having its own dedicated video on their massive screen. A great show from the headliners.

Highlight: Stockholm Syndrome

I also glimpsed: Taking Back Sunday, but was more interested in getting some food

I sadly missed: Peter Doherty, Viva Brother, Descendents, Flogging Molly, Craig Campbell, Frank Turner – Lock Up Stage. Too many good bands on that night, gutted to miss Frank’s set but I wanted to see Elbow.

Band of the day: Frank Turner

Song of the day: Open Arms – Elbow

Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Having watched the series finale of Never Mind The Buzzcocks tonight I came to a few conclusions.

1. It was an original idea to have the separate David O’Doherty bit. I quite liked it but it’ll only work once.

2. Phill Jupitus is still as funny as he ever was, the man’s one of the longest lasting greats in the mainstream circuit.

3. Noel Fielding was great this series, better than last series.

4. Jedward are insufferable (But then, you all knew that).

5. Jack Dee’s deadpan delivery still works perfectly.

6. The three best guest hosts were (In no particular order) Jack Dee, Terry Wogan and Frankie Boyle.

7. The show’s surviving without the brilliant Simon Amstell, although I still miss him from it.

8. I only made 7 conclusions.

10 Jokes In 12 Minutes

These are brand new jokes which I’m going to write right now. I’m putting them here so I don’t clutter up Facebook. Beginning at 23:32 (Because I love the symmetry). Here goes, (P.S. It might help to say some of them out loud) In the order I think them up:

1. You never see a sober fish, they’re all legless all the time.

2. Why are camp-fires so sexual? They’ve always got wood.

3. Someone should get that poor statue off of that island near New York. Having her out there on her own is a liberty.

4. A man walks into a b ar and dies. That’s what happens when you take ‘e’.

5. Jesus auditioned for the film Titanic. They turned him down as they thought his walking on water trick might spoil the story.

6. A man sells figures which he crafts into war scenes. He’s making a killing.

7. Two normal people and a moron went on a caravanning trip. The two normals both towed their caravan. The moron tried to frog his.

8. A Domino’s delivery man thought he had discovered a famous Roman Catholic Tuscan building, his spelling clearly wasn’t quite up to mark. He’d found the Leaning Tower Of Pizza.

9. Faced by a subject you don’t know whilst out at sea, that’s what you call out of your depth.

10. I ordered a blow up doll over the Internet and received a female Muslim extremist.

Completed at 23:44. 10 jokes in 12 minutes.

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen

It’s not too often that I cover such a serious story on this blog, but this seems like a fair occasion for one.

Today one of the greatest comedy actors actors ever, Leslie Nielsen, died at the age of 84.

The late, great Leslie Nielsen

Nielsen is best known for absolute classics such as Airplane! and The Naked Gun series. He was also excellent in Police Squad, the TV series. If you were were a fan of The Naked Gun I’d give Police Squad ago. Essentially Police Squad is to The Naked Gun what The Thick Of It is to In The Loop. If you don’t get this reference then basically one is the film of the other but not entirely the same. Just watch it and see.

Nielsen is known for having provided the comedy world for some of it’s wittiest one liners, lines which have bcome so well known over the years that people who have never seen the original films can quote them.

Gems like the famous:

“Surely you can’t be serious.”
“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

I realise I’ve plucked for the most obvious choice there but it’s just genius. But here’s some more:

“Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.”

“You’d better tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.”
“A hospital? What is it?”
“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”

“Captain, how soon can you land?”

"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley"

“I can’t tell.”
“You can tell me. I’m a doctor.”
“No. I mean I’m just not sure.”
Well, can’t you take a guess?”
“Well, not for another two hours.”
“You can’t take a guess for another two hours?”

This style is puns is one I’m particularly font of and use regularly. Men like Nielsen are therefore comedy icons in my eyes. So here’s more:

“Nice beaver!”
[producing a stuffed beaver] “Thank you. I just had it stuffed.”

[offering a cigar] Cuban?
No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.

So, goodbye to one of the greats, he’ll be truly missed. R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen.

 

Stewart Francis Is A Very Funny Man

Any regular viewers of Mock The Week will be familiar with Canadian stand-up Stewart Francis. I personally had never heard of him before he popped up on the show but was instantly impressed by his stream of one-liners.

Having seen him repeatedly appear on the show and be consistently brilliant I felt now would be a good time to go and see him live.

Tour de Francis

And, as it happened it was a good time. A very good time. Similar in both quality and style to Tim Vine, Francis has put himself high of my list of best stand-ups I’ve seen live.

He was able to reach between simple puns, witty one-liners and some tremendous jokes pushing the moral boundaries with people with physical disabilities, the mentally ill, orphans and fat people taking a pounding, amongst others.

“What’s to say dolphins want to swim with retarded kids?” was a highlight for me.

All in all, he was fantastic live and I would definitely recommend him.

Earlier in the night one of Scotland’s best young comedians, Daniel Sloss, had opened the show.  This was the third time I’d seen Sloss and was easily the best. I hadn’t known he was going to be opening the show so it came as a pleasant surprise.

Daniel Sloss, Scotland's best young stand up?

With Kevin Bridges now having progressed to the big league of British comedy, it may well be the case that Sloss has stepped up to the task of representing the best of young Scottish up-and-coming comedy.

With jokes about Anne Frank, Jabba the Hut and masturbating over his parents it’s fair to say he’s ready for the step up!

The Magic Of Malcolm Tucker

Last night I finally got to see my favourite character of the small screen in his firt performance on the big screen, albeit on the small screen.

I refer of course to Malcolm Tucker (played by Peter Capaldi) from Armando Iannucci’s masterpiece The Thick Of It.

The all-swearing all-threatening Tucker transfers brilliantly and is every bit as good in the film. The film would be very good anyway but the brilliance of Capaldi takes it to another level with Tucker undoubtedly the star.

In tribute to this wonderful character I thought I’d relay a few of my favourite Tucker quotes from the film. (Beware, this isn’t for you if you can’t tolerate swearing)

"This is the minister of international development here, he should be talking about... food parcels... not... fucking, arse-spraying mayhem!"

“Just fucking do it! Otherwise you’ll find yourself in some medieval war zone in the Caucasus with your arse in the air, trying to persuade a group of men in balaclavas that sustained sexual violence is not the fucking way forward!”

“Well, it is out there, it’s out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. You know, if I could, I’d punch you into paralysis!”

Malcolm Tucker: “Fucking hung up, haven’t you? You fucking hoity-toity fucking… ”
Tourist: “Hey, buddy? Enough with the curse words, all right? ”
Malcolm Tucker: “Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck.”

“Why didn’t you say? He asked you. Fuck, of course, that explains it. If he’d asked you to fucking black up, or to give him your PIN number or to shit yourself, would you have done that?”

“Christ on a bendy-bus. Don’t be such a fucking faff arse.”

"Fuckety-bye-bye then"

“You say nothing, okay? You stay detached. Otherwise that’s what I’ll do to your retinas.”

Keep in mind, this is all from one film. And that’s not even close to all of them. Just shows what a veritable feast The Thick Of It is.

The Inbetweeners Is Back!

Teenagers around Britain tonight were wet with anticipation of the new series of The Inbetweeners. And I was no different. Would it live up to the first two series? Would it be a flop? Would it be ‘meh’ material?

Answer: It lived up to the first two series, it was terrific.

Simon, "A spotty baby combined with the statue of liberty"

Full of killer lines and some great visual comedy, the show looks likely to hold up the popularity of it’s predecessors if it can maintain that standard.

There was the lovely controversy of the downright offensive behaviour towards a disabled person. Lots of comedies wouldn’t touch this.

However, I’m not saying that I condone all abuse against disabled people. That would be just wrong. It just so happens that in this case it was very funny.

Simon, Jay and Neil, "He always was a bit lazy though"

I can’t remember all of these lines, so if any readers have any particular favourites then feel free to shout them out. I know you won’t, but it’s worth saying anyway.

The caption of Simon, Jay and Neil seems a lot funnier when put in perspective of the fact they’re referring to a disabled boy in a wheelchair!

Mr Gilbert, "There is nothing funny about testicles, as you will find out tomorrow in my office"

Some people I’m sure will argue, judging by Facebook, that the outstanding moment of tonight’s show was Simon’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ on the catwalk. A great bit of slapstick comedy, but I would point out not to let this overtake the quality of the scriptwriting.

On a note to end with, I’ll leave you with two more great quotes.

To Neil, “You cannot catch kidney failure”

By Neil, when talking about Nelson Mandela, “We wouldn’t have Nelson’s column for a start”

Here’s to the next week’s show!

Stand Up, This Is Comedy

As comedy fans across the globe are aware, August is the month of the Edinburgh fringe. Performers and fans alike have flocked to Edinburgh in their masses and I’ve been no exception. Unlike some, however, I haven’t gone wild and decided to see 20 acts over 3 days or anything of the sort. This year I decided to go for quality over quantity. This decision led to me booking only three shows; Alex Horne, Mark Watson and Tim Vine.

Alex Horne and Mark Watson, I felt, were both bound to be funny having seen them both live twice before and Watson being my favourite stand up. And I was proved right as both put on excellent, rather different, shows. Alex Horne split his show into three sections; golf, physics and gambling. He also started the show with a raffle! I would highly recommend Horne, one of the best rising stars of British comedy. Only for people who appreciate intelligent comedy though, he doesn’t make any obvious mainstream jokes. Well, he made 3, in an hour…

Alex Horne, a bit different to your usual stand up's

Mark Watson put on his usual level of show, it was messy, it was rambly, a bit all over the place in all honesty. But that’s what he does and I’d recommend him to anyone, he’s terrific.

Tim Vine on the other hand was totally new to me having only ever seen five minutes of him doing stand up on TV. Part of my decision to see him was based on how good that five minutes had been and how good he is in one of my favourite TV programmes Not Going Out (Starring Lee Mack, returning this autumn!). As it happens I was blown away.

Tim Vine is the best stand up comedian I have ever seen.

Tim Vine, the finest

Vine combined endless short puns with silly songs, funny hats, a huge variety of props and just generally sheer wit. I will definitely go and see him again if I get the chance.

I also happened to bump into Jack Whitehall twice and Pete Firman once walking around the Pleasance courtyard, it’s nice to see a big star like Whitehall keeps his feet on the ground.

As this piece comes to an end I must make a confession. I can’t claim originality in the title of this blog, as I did not infact write this line, as certain music fans would be able to tell. This is a actually line from ‘Stand Up Comedy’ from U2’s ‘No Line On The Horizon’, so I should pass the credit for this blog’s title to Bono.

Bono gave a helping hand for this blog's title

That’s the Fringe over for me this year but I’m sure I’ll be back next year.